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2016年07月

DATE

  • 2016.07.23(土)
  • Emo
  • 2016.07.03(日)
  • Sad
  • このページのトップへ

It's finally over. 進路が決まりました。


内定いただきました。4月から横浜人になります。

I got a phone call today from the company I had final interview with yesterday and they offered me the job.
I took it right away.
My life after graduation is settled then.
I'm not going anywhere, I will still be staying in Japan.

But the company is not in Tokyo though, it's in Yokohama.
So I will be moving to Yokohama in April.
The company is not a very big company (medium, I think) but the people there are very very nice and friendly, so I took the job offer without second thought.
They also have group companies in nine countries, including Indonesia, so I also have the chance to work abroad and use English/Indonesian when needed.
Manufacturing company has been my main target from the beginning and not so many manufacturing companies still accept applications in August so I ended my job hunting right away.

Yes. Fuck this. I'm tired.
I think this company is just okay.
An old Japanese company, not too big, not too small. The people are nice and the business is stable.
I don't think I would like working in Tokyo and having to use the train during rush hour.
Yokohama is just perfect. Still close to Tokyo and I get to live in the company's dorm or mansion near the office.
I think I should be able to live the quiet and peaceful life I've always wanted. LOL.


Finally.
Ah.
A heavy burden has just been lifted from my shoulder.
What a tiring journey from March.
More like, from April, cos I almost did nothing in March. Four months of hell and fucked up lifestyle.
I didn't start my job hunting well because I was so picky and stupid, but at least I managed to get a job before August.
Most companies give job offers in June-July.
Now I can celebrate my birthday and graduation in peace.
Thank God.

tumblr_ntlh02HEUB1tbvr3po1_400.gif

I feel like I wanna cut my hair sometime this week and bring my bangs back.
But oh shit I still need the money to pay for my hakama and other bills.
I'll think about it later.

For now, I want to just do whatever I want to do tonight.
I'm finally free!
I'm going to have fun eating dinner with my scholarship foundation tomorrow and have fun watching fireworks with my friends later this weekend!
I have half a year free to do whatever I want to do after graduation in September!

On top of everything, I'm happy that I'm still given a chance to live in this land of fat cats after graduation and years from now.
Yes.
Fat cats are very important to me.


カテゴリー:未分類

Emo


負け組みなんだから。

悲しい。
今までの人生、やりたくないことばかりやっている。
といっても
やりたいことさえわからない。

アホ。
クズ。

勉強はできるのに、社会では生きられない。
私みたいなダメな人間は世には要らないね。
助けられないよ。
高校のときからずっと自分がバカだと思い込まされて、
もう精神的に限界に近づいている。

本当にバカだから。日々痛感したよ。
社会に出られない。全く使えない。

今年の誕生日、卒業式、両親の来日も
楽しく過ごせない可能性が十分高いだと考えたら

悲しくなった。

愛していない彼氏と結婚して子どもを生んで何もやらないままの人生を過ごしたほうがいいのでは。

本当に何の権限もないダメな人間だから、高望みはしないほうがいいかも。

人間としてはもう大失敗に近い状態だ。

カテゴリー:未分類

Just some thoughts and life update


I haven't been updating this blog for a while.
I'm still busy with job hunting.
I've mastered the art of smiling all the time in interviews like an idiot even though I'm like fuck I'm so tired inside please get this over soon.

tumblr_n8nlx8cXFU1sgl0ajo1_400.gif

I don't enjoy job hunting much.

A company made me have a health check last Tuesday.
I only weigh 44.6 kg these days. The lowest I've had in years. Shocking.
I wasn't even that light in high school? I'm freaking 164cm tall.

I haven't got any job offer yet.
I feel dumber and dumber everyday.
I wish I'd get an offer soon from a good company.
I'm still applying to companies.....but
since this month, I've been applying to many places I don't want to go too....just because I'm desperate.
I applied to like 20 random companies in only a few weeks.
And now I'm regretting it.
I cancelled some seminars just because I didn't want to go there.
I hope I don't end up in any one of those places.
I don't want to end up in IT company or internet service company or the likes.

Seriously.
I actually have no interest in them.
I've done enough damage to my eye.
And I don't want to work in a startup company.
I'd rather do tedious jobs than do too much work.
I'd rather work as a teller in a bank than kill myself doing sales for a small company.

Oh well, why don't I apply for banks.
It's just because that I feel that banks are too scary? I don't know.
I like the atmosphere in manufacturing companies...
Especially companies that already have a long history and their own culture.
I don't like the kind of atmosphere you have in a startup company.
I don't want to work in a place where there are too many 中途採用.
For the same reason, I don't want to work in Indonesia,
because most people there change their jobs like every 2-3 years......and I DON'T like this culture.

My boyfriend has been trying to convince me to apply for work in Indonesia.
Argh, fuck no.
Not gonna do that for you or for anyone at all.

I don't want to keep looking for the safer route. I don't want to get stuck in the comfort zone.
I don't want to make the same mistake again....
It may be easier to find a job there for me, with all my A+ and JLPT N1 and shits I can sell.....but I don't think I will be able to learn or gain much from working there?
I won't be able to find what I'm looking for there.

I tend to make my life harder.
Lol. I know.

Ugh, so depressing.
It's so hot these days and I don't like walking around under the scorching sun in black suits.
I'm still struggling. And still sometimes hang out with my friends.

I just booked hakama for graduation yesterday. It was so expensive.
I'm only two months away from graduation! I can't believe it.
I'm happy and sad at the same time. Mostly sad right now, because my future path is still undecided.

I had a week full of interviews last week. I even had 2 interviews in one day.

I slept at 3 am after submitting an entry sheet for a company. Had a seminar at 10 am this morning, which I halfheartedly joined. Don't really want to apply for that company to be honest, but uh... I don't know.
I was sleepy and I think I wrote nonsense in the questionnaire sheet.
I was so tired that I slept in the train all the way home, fell asleep after arriving home and replying to mails, and decided that I don't want to do anything today after I woke up from my afternoon nap.

I'm spending my night listening to my favorite songs.
I heard rumors that MCR is going to make a comeback in September?? Oh please let that be true.
I'm still a fan. HAHA.



カテゴリー:未分類

Sad


It's July already.
It's so hot already.
I just spent an entire week hanging out with my sister.
We even went to Osaka for one night.
Spent most of our money eating nice food.
She just went home this morning.
Sad.
I regret not being able to spend more time with her.
Job hunting has been occupying a large part of my mind for months.
Every fun things I do makes me feel guilty and unhappy.
It hasn't been going well. Failed another final interview. I have to start applying for more companies.
This seems like an endless circle.
I'm afraid no one would want to hire me and I would be forced to go home and do nothing with my life.
Or perhaps if anyone would hire me, they would want me to do jobs I don't like?

IMG_3917es.jpg

Graduation is drawing near.
I need to find a job in two months.
But if I can't, I still have the option of extending my visa for another 6 months.

I'm such a failure.

I have no desire to do anything productive in this life.
The more I get depressed, the more I withdraw myself from everyone else around me.

I'll write a post about my Osaka trip later.

カテゴリー:未分類

だっくくろっく

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Author:♥vachuu♥
I speak nonsense.
英語は母国語ではないけど英語を使うのが好きな人。

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