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2016年03月

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Cuteness urgh


It's been a long time since I'm obsessed over a series.
I've been watching Harry Potter movies again and I really like the part where they show Snape's memories in the last film.
I wish Lily Evans would end up with Severus Snape instead......James Potter is just too annoying (and is just not my type).

Perhaps I'm one of the few people who ship this?
I think they look so cute together as childhood friends... Wish she would marry him! (and then there will be no Harry Potter and Voldemort will not attempt to kill babies lol)

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But they never end up together! Nooo *sobs*

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Because yeah the popular girl will always be with the popular guy in any series.
The emo, unattractive and awkward guy will end up alone.
It's so sad that he never told her his feelings toward her though.

カテゴリー:Harry Potter

Disoriented


I returned to Japan and I'm already faced with the reality that I should start thinking about what I want to do after graduation NOW.
But I don't have the motivation to start doing anything.
*rolls on the bed*

Maybe I should just update this blog. Talk about my life lately even though it always turns out to be depressing.
So, I spent 1 month in Indonesia last month....and did absolutely nothing but eat and sleep.
I received my grade result for last semester and somehow my GPA is 4.00 and I'm in the dean's list again (of course, cos I took 12 credits..)....
With this I'm in the dean's list for 4 times in 4 years.

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Maybe I'm just good at choosing subjects and teachers I know wouldn't negatively affect my grades....or maybe it's just luck.

School hasn't started yet. Technically, I'm still on holiday.
I don't really have anything left to do at uni anymore except accepting my professor's request to attend juniors' presentation, maybe. I'm already finished with my thesis even though I still have one semester to go.
And I don't have to take any more class because with the thesis registered by the end of next semester I will have enough credits to graduate.

I attended the farewell party of my scholarship last Monday...
No more writing life reports(?) anymore! lol. But I know they would expect me to update on my plans after graduation. Sigh.
I should start to worry about money now, I think. Ah damn, I have to find a way to get money.
The tuition fee for this last semester is damn high (because of the stupid alumni association stuff)...
Even if I don't register for classes this semester, I still have to pay the tuition fee.
Hmm.......
I only have one more semester to go though.
Hopefully I still can apply and get scholarship maybe from the uni...

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But I'm more worried about job hunting. I haven't started anything yet.
I've been attending company seminars at my campus. I attend a lot of them......cos I have no idea yet what kind of company I want to work at.
I listen to all kind of companies.....almost all.
It's tiring though. I don't mind sitting for hours listening to people talking....but I don't like wearing suits and heels...
My feet...!!
....
I did all of this because I have no idea what I want to do in the future yet.
I'm so lost. Really. I don't want to end up unemployed but I also don't know whether I have the ability to work and survive in the society...

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Oh yeah, btw I dyed my hair black for job hunting.
My hair now looks even darker than my original hair. And I let my bangs grow long....good bye, bangs.
I'm so much more emo now.

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カテゴリー:未分類

Misanthropy


It's March already and I'm here doing nothing.........
I always blame myself for not doing anything productive throughout the holiday...and that feels bad.
But after a lot of thinking, rolling on the bed, and meditating(?)......I have come to the conclusion that .perhaps I really should take my time and rest while being with my family.
Yeah, while I have the chance.
I have things to prepare and worry about.....but I just don't have the motivation to do the things I have to do yet.

It seems that I really can never do anything productive during a holiday in my parents' home like this.
So I will just try to make myself happy, since I've been constantly depressed...

I decided to do whatever I like to make myself a little bit happier these days.
I don't socialize when I don't want to. I reject all meet-ups.
I stop checking Facebook cos I hate seeing my friends' posts and news.
You got a new boyfriend? Got a good job? Have children? Don't like LGBT? Talk about the future of this country and how you want to contribute to it? Complain about this country?
Fuck you guys, I don't care about any of those.

Yes, I'm such a misanthrope.

But anyway, I think most people already don't like me much and don't care about whatever I talk or post on group chats etc.
Whenever I give a shit about something, no one ever pay much attention to me. Hardly anyone cares about what I say, actually. lol.
So I think I should just show up whenever I feel like to, not because I feel obliged to.
Seeing some people or things just makes me feel angry or depressed and that's not good for my health.
I hate people and I don't like intimacy.

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I'm sorry but I can't help it.

Avoiding people has always been in my nature.
I think when I ever get married in the future I will only invite my close friends from high school and let my parents do the rest of the invitation, so that in the party I will only be talking to my friends and a few of my relatives.
So unlike the typical wedding in this country.
I'm more of a western one.
Ah yes, as if I will ever get married. As if.

カテゴリー:未分類

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♥vachuu♥

Author:♥vachuu♥
I speak nonsense.
英語は母国語ではないけど英語を使うのが好きな人。

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